Mike Goldstein
I remember in my mid twenties going on a bunch of first dates. I would come home and think to myself, that was fun I am going to ask her on a 2nd date. Or I would come home and think, that was not so fun I think I will go pursue other options. This process is standard procedure for most daters.
However, if you are looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with, shouldn't there be a more decisive and sophisticated process? The answer should be an emphatic, Yes!
So what should you do?
Build Your Perfect Person List
Step 1 - Write down every quality you want in a person.
Step 2 - Pick your top 5.
Moving forward, you only go on second dates with people that possess your top 5 qualities. However, since you are always changing, this list should be very fluid. If you decide quality 8 is now more important than quality 4, simply switch them out. But, always have a list of no more than 5 qualities. This system will allow you to be realistic and firm with clear boundaries all at the same time.
So what are you waiting for? Go on some first dates now that you have an easy system to decide who gets a 2nd date.
Mike Goldstein
For years women have been told to play hard to get and the man will chase her. This is terribly wrong. If I am pursuing a woman I am interested in and asked her out 3 -4 times and each time she was unavailable, well I can promise you I am not going to ask her out again because she is clearly not available for dating. No matter how much I like someone, I can't pursue someone that is not available.
But, when you are being yourself and available why do men lose interest?
Men are losing interest because you are not making them feel something on your dates. What does that mean?
Let me break it down into a list:
1. You need to have the top 5 qualities he is looking for in a partner. For example, maybe he wants someone compassionate, good conversationalist, handles problems well, positive attitude, and comes from a big great family. (If he ends up not pursuing you because you don't have his 5, no sweat, maybe he didn't have your 5 either. Onto the next guy)
2. If you are enjoying yourself, make him feel that. How do you do that? I will never forget my 3rd date with my now live in girlfriend. We just spent a day at the beach and were walking back to the car. She said, "This is the best date of my life." I said, "What!? You are Joking?" I remember thinking, I am sure some charming guy must have one upped me with a vacation to the Alps, with a romantic dinner, and maybe even being serenaded by Boys to Men or something spectacular. Quite, frankly to this day I am sure someone in her past must have done something amazing.
But, it doesn't matter, at this point in her head and in my mind that moment forever lives as the best date of her life and mine. At that very moment I felt something. I felt, happy, excited, and successful.
What did all this mean to me?
1. It made me think that I could plan simple dates, be myself, and I can make this woman happy.
2. If it is this easy to make her have the time of her life, maybe she is the right person to spend the rest of my life with because I can be successful with her.
So how can this be used in your life?
If you go on an amazing date, don't be afraid to tell him and definitely don't be afraid to use exponential superlatives. Feel free to say it was the best date of your life. Say this is the best beach you have ever been to. Say, this is the best restaurant I have ever eaten at. These types of statements will heighten situations and allow events to be more fun and more memorable.
Sometimes people are afraid to use all encompassing adjectives but when it comes to fun moments, they can increase fun levels. So if you want your guy to never lose interest, when you have a great date, tell him and be more emphatic about it than any other girl has ever been. When he feels like he has been the only person to provide this amazing of a date, well he will be intrigued by you, want to learn more about you, and most likely try to one up his date next date. I know that happened for me.
On the fourth date I was told that date was now the best date of her life. At this point I was hooked on her personality and the fact that I finally felt a supreme level of success in providing happiness for another person. There was no way I was losing interest from this point forward and guess what, it was just her being herself and making me feel successful. Pretty easy! You can do it too.
Mike Goldstein
In this life we know two things for sure. Your time on earth is limited and you will pay taxes. In today's article we are going to focus on time, more specifically how you can optimize your time so if you want to get married you are not wasting energy on men who are NOT right for you.
So how are you going to do this?
Let's discuss your first date strategy. Some women are going on first dates, keeping conversation PC, and hoping to get out of there with a guy that is intrigued, but not really getting or giving much information. Well, if you are serious about optimizing your love life this is not going to cut it.
A great first date should be light and fun but at the same time start answering many if not most of your questions on whether your date could potentially be a life partner.
Now, I am sure most of you are reading this and thinking I am crazy, and quite frankly you may be right. But, the reason I am coming off crazy is because most people don't realize they can get the information they need from their 1st date in a light and still fun first date way.
Let me show you:
My 5 Needs
1. Takes bad situations in stride - Positive attitude
2. Healthy Lifestyle
3. Can handle social situations / Not need me by her side the whole time
4. Challenges me/Supports me - Be able to learn from each other
5. Independent
So how do I figure out if my date has these qualities: (Numbers Correspond to the Numbers Above)
1. Ask person about their job? Are they excited or say something positive about their work? It is okay to not like your job but it is nice to hear some redeeming qualities about an activity that takes up so much time in a person's life.
2. What are your favorite foods? If answer is something unhealthy, ask, is that a cheat meal or is that your go to daily? Also, say, "you have a great body, what do you do to stay in shape?"
3. This may come in date 5, date 8, or maybe even later. But eventually you will want to bring someone to an event or to meet friends/family. Does your date need to cling onto you or can he mingle on his own?
4. Talk about what you do for work. Are they excited to ask you questions and learn more about what you do?
5. Ask, "What do you do for fun? What do you and your friends do together?" If your date has a big social life, doing a lot of activities he will probably want to maintain them even after you combine lives.