(Article Below has MORE/New Information than video above)
For most women, the hardest part about their love life isn't meeting or establishing an attraction with men, but rather, it’s creating that deep connection and rush of strong emotions and powerful feelings that move things forward from casual dating towards a committed romantic relationships.
In this article I am going to teach you how to get a man emotionally attached in 3 steps. What I am going to teach you ABSOLUTELY WORKS. Before we hop in, I have a disclaimer.
There are 3 things that need to be present in order to get him attached
Both you and the man must be a good fit - Meaning if you like him and he doesn’t like you, this won’t work
You need to be self actualized - which means being happy and loving yourself. This leaves space for someone else to love you too.
You need to realize that most men you go on dates with are NOT the guy, but if you can be patient and consistently implement my 3 steps you will get a man emotionally attached.
Do those 3 things sound fair? Do you have these 3 things? If so, Keep reading, we are getting started NOW!
Hi everyone, I am Mike Goldstein, The Most Efficient Dating and Relationship Coach in the world. This blog is all about making Dating and Relationships EZ. So, if you want to optimize your love life put your email address into the box on the right to subscribe to my email newsletter.
Okay, How To Get Him Emotionally Attached
You need to Be Awesome on the Date
Well thanks Mike! Didn’t need a rocket scientist for that one.
Fair/Fair. Let me explain
I will break this into 3 main aspects.
1 - Be Fun/Playful
2- Be vulnerable
3 - Create emotional Safety for him
If you do all three of these, that is the trifecta and what we call the PERFECT DATE. In order to implement the perfect date let me give you some examples.
First, let's start with fun and playful.
I invited a woman to play soccer with me. She got there early, brought a jump rope and was basically bouncing around like an energizer bunny. Soon after chatting, she said,
“Can you do a cartwheel?”
I replied, “I am 220 LBS, that’s a big texas size NO”
She is like cool, “Watch me”
She does one. Then she goes, “Want to learn?”
“I said sure.” - Now for the next 25 minutes we were playing/laughing watching my big butt fall all over the place. We were having fun, getting to know each other organically instead of interviewing each other.
I know this is an obscure example, but I challenge you to think how you can make your dates playful instead of interviews?
Even if you end up at a bar, maybe challenge them to name all of the 7 dwarves. If you got some cool ideas, please leave them in the comments so Team EZ Dating can try them.
Next step, be vulnerable.
Oh man is vulnerability sexy. I was on a date and this woman felt comfortable enough to tell me she lost her father last year to cancer.
This lead me to ask, “how she handled that?” “how was her relationship with her father?” “what did she miss most about him?” - This allowed me to bond with her and really get to know her on a much more intimate level.
This conversation was a lot more emotionally connecting then “What do you do for work? Do you enjoy it?”
Finally, if you can create emotional safety for a man, you hit the trifecta and nailed a perfect date.
I was on a date with this really nice, intelligent, easy to talk to, successful woman who seemed to have many of the qualities I look for in a partner. I was mostly PC on the date and I think she was curious whether I had an edgy side. So she asked “What is the craziest thing you ever done? Now before you answer, I want you to know, the crazier your answer, the sexier I will find you and I PROMISE I will not judge you and there is nothing that will shock me.”
If she didn’t put the disclaimer at the end of her statement I would have said something PC like I went sky diving with my 65 year old mother.
But instead I felt emotionally safe and told her a very intimate story that really allowed her to get to know me much better and drew me very close to her because she fully accepted me even when I shared something not that many people know about me.
Alright, whew! That was a lot of information. Let’s move onto step 2.
Step 2 - Don’t text/call between Dates - Let him Contact you and ask YOU out.
I know what you are thinking, “Mike! I am too old for games, if I want to text him I will.”
Listen, I don’t believe in games either. This isn’t a game. This is dating strategically.
After a first date, we need to see what a guy does in the first 48 hours. If he reaches out to ask you on a next date, that is a good sign. If he doesn’t, that is a bad sign.
If you text him before he gets a chance to text you, we have no idea if he likes you or if he is simply responding for the heck of it.
Also, fast forward to further into the relationship, he decides if he loves you/wants to marry you when he is not with you or talking to you.
You need to give him that space so he has time to think/process his feelings for you. If you are constantly seeking attention, he will never have time to think about you, miss you, and ultimately build a long lasting emotional connection.
Step 3 - No Sex Until Date 6 Plus
I was talking to this 31 year old client who was telling me about the guy she is dating. She said, “I like him and we had sex on date 3.”
I said, “Cool.”
“What is happening now?”
“Well, he was texting me daily but recently he hasn't texted me in 3 days and I am feeling super anxious. I would send him a text but I know with the state that I am in, that I won’t be putting my best foot forward.”
So I said, “what do you think about waiting to have sex in the future until date 6 plus?”
She said, “I would but, it almost seems awkward to wait that long. Also, the dates would get kind of boring.”
So I said, “You explored each others bodies and that was exciting, right?”
She said, “Yes.”
Next time, “I want you to explore each other’s brains. If that is exciting, you may have found your soulmate.”
“How does that land?”
She was excited to say the least!
So a lot to unpack here. First, don’t have sex unless you know with 97.5% plus certainty that after sex if he never calls you again, you will feel great that you decided to have sex when you did.
Second, if he takes you on 6 dates without recieving sex on date 1-5, then he is taking you out because he likes you. If he just wanted sex, he would find a woman that was willing to put out sooner.
Not only does he like you, but by date 6 he is probably emotionally connected to you.
Let’s recap. In order to get a man emotionally connected to you need to
Be Awesome On A Date and have Perfect Dates
Don’t Call/Text Between Dates
No Sex Until Date 6