This is not going to be a surprise but good looking, successful, 30-55 year old men looking for commitment are hard to find. However, if you do find them, they are being sought after by every other single woman in New Jersey and NYC. How are you going to stand out and actually get a date?
This article could be 20 pages and still not cover everything. But since we are all busy I am going to make this under a page and give you the single most important piece of advice I can give you.
Successful men, exactly like successful women work a lot and VALUE their free time.
How does this effect online dating?
Simple, if you make the guy who works all the time go through hoop after hoop to get you on a date, he is 100% going to move onto the next girl.
What is a hoop?
1. Lots of messaging back and forth
2. Asking for him to email you
3. Requesting a phone call
Get to an in person date as soon as possible. If you go on a first date and he likes you. Soon he will be emailing, calling, and messaging you plenty. However, DO NOT make him invest the time without getting him on the hook first.
Have you ever went on three dates with a great guy, like Nathan? The conversation flows, he is respectful, charming, and you even feel some butterflies when you think about him. More than that, you have start picturing what a life together could be. How exciting! But wait, out of nowhere, the calls, the texts, they all stop. He must have turned into a ghost, because he has fully disappeared!
What should you do?
I want you to send him 100 text messages in a row. Just kidding, don't do that!
However, I am about to give you the best and easiest advice I have ever given. I want you to do nothing. Let's see if he reaches out. If he does, great, respond like you normally would. If he doesn't well I guess he is not interested.
When I say not interested, I mean to say, he is not looking for what you are offering. It doesn't mean you aren't great, good enough for him, or a wonderful person. It simply means he is looking for something different. Be happy he has figured this out after only three dates instead of after 9 months of dating. Thankfully he has saved both of you a lot of time.
If you ever see this guy at the gym or grocery store make sure to be friendly and grateful that he was courteous enough to cut things off early rather than waste your time. Also, if you are still single when you see him PLEASE PLEASE have no shame to your game and do the following.
Say something like, "Hey, great to see you. You know, I thought you were a really great guy. Obviously, you weren't interested which is perfectly fine, but by any chance do you have any single friends that are just as great as you?"
Why is this the best two sentences ever?
1. You are complimenting someone (Good deed for the day #Done)
2. You know this guy has some of the qualities you want, I bet one of his friends has even more of the qualities you need. You are asking for a referral from someone who probably has access to someone who will be high quality.
December has rolled around. Unlike 2014 the weather has been absolutely gorgeous. Fall has actually felt like Fall and here in the greater New York City area we are still gallivanting outside and have not yet went into hibernation.
Nice weather means more people out and about. Not to mention, December means Holiday Parties. If you are anything like me, being single during the holiday can be very lonely. (Fortunately I have a GF this year) However, nothing can keep you warm like the hope of a promising new love interest in your life. So in this article, I am going to give you all the tools you need to approach, meet, build a spark, and even close a phone number with that cute guy at the holiday party.
Talk to him.
I know, we have all heard it before, men approach women. Blah, Blah, Blah. This theory is terrible and in the words of Mr. Wonderful from Shark Tank, "Take it behind the Barn and Shoot It!"
If you want a man this holiday season, GO TALK TO HIM!
Since I am a man, and can honestly say I am very rarely hit on, but the times that I am, I am ecstatic! The woman just made my life so much easier! I didn't have to think of something to say. I didn't have to pretend I could read her signals and know if she wanted to talk to me or not. Nope, none of it. She talked to me! Simply Amazing!
Ladies, wondering what to say. KISS - Keep It Simple Stupid
Say, "Hi, What is your name?" OR "Hi, How are you?"
No! There are no other openers worth learning. That is it!
Go from there. If the energy is good and the conversation flows, enjoy your new friend.
If it doesn't seem like he is interested, "It was great meeting you, I am going to get back to my friends, chat with you later maybe."
Now, if the conversation wasn't great, it doesn't mean you shouldn't give this person a second chance later in the evening. If you are walking by, feel free to stop by, say hi again and give it another try if you want. (Sometimes people are not expecting to make a new friends and aren't prepared for a stimulating conversation OR they are in a bad mood) Maybe the 2nd go around will be better.
"I asked him his name now what?"
We have all been there. We just met a new person and all of sudden neither party has anything to say. The conversation goes silent, awkward, and maybe even uncomfortable.
Alright ladies, I am going to teach you how to resolve the awkward silence with an extremely advanced skill that is very counterintuitive so brace yourselves.
Now, since you approached the man, did the hard part as far as I am concerned. It is his time, to man up and keep the conversation going, especially if he is interested in you.
What I want you to do is stare at him and keep staring for 5 seconds and maybe even give him a gesture as if to lip sync the words "Sooooooooo"
This should force him to break the silence and ask a question or form some sort of a sentence to keep the conversation going.
However, if for some reason he has nothing to say I would have a few canned questions at your disposal.
1. Where are you originally from?
2. What do you do for work?
3. Are you enjoying the party?
I am usually willing to give people the stare twice in a conversation, if they won't be active members in our conversation, I will use the closing from earlier and politely excuse myself.
How to Exchange Phone Numbers!
"Well, it has been great talking to you. I wish there was a way that we could see each other again..." Stare at him, bat the eyelashes, do whatever you wonderful creatures do.
He should ask for your number at this point. If for some reason this guy is brain dead, unfortunately many of the relationship oriented men are. Just go for it, "Would you like to exchange numbers?"
There you have ladies, Bingo Bango, You just landed a promising phone number at your Holiday Party. You go Girl!
Your Dating Coach,
If you would like me to write an article about a specific topic, please leave some suggestions below. Or, if you ARE READY to ramp up your dating Life and GET YOUR MAN RIGHT NOW, email me to setup a time at to Chat for FREE.
Looking forward to learning about you and your dating life!