We all go on so many first dates. Most of them are not great. However, every once in awhile the date goes very well. You get home, you start thinking about the person and begin to see how your life could be different with them in it. You have feelings of butterflies, excitement, and curiosity about whether this person could be something great.
However, soon after, you start to wonder, should I call the person, should I text, will he reach out to me? Ah!!!!!! What should you do?
First, you need to have a process on whether this person truly has the qualities you need in a life partner. This process can be found here. No willy-nilly dating here. We only focus our time on men that meet the standard we know we need!
Now, assuming he has the traits YOU NEED. The next step is super simple.
Do absolutely NOTHING.
Don't over think it, don't text him. Do NOTHING.
Why are you doing this?
The man's actions after early relationship dating will tell you all the story you need to know about whether he likes you or not.
If he texts/calls you within 48 hours, things are looking promising. If he asks you out again within 48 hours, this is a good sign.
If a man is interested in you, he will move hell and high water to get to you. You need not do anything. He is coming for you if interested.
If for some reason he doesn't reach out, don't be insulted and try to not to get upset. This decisions to not reach out has NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU PERSONALLY.
He is not interested simply because he is looking for something different. The something different could be a million things but here is a few examples
1. He wants sex and realizes you want a relationship
2. Wants someone who is athletic, you are more of a book person
3. Prefers a woman who is curvy, you have a skinny tennis body
4. He only dates circus clowns :)
5. This list could go forever
My point is simple. When you like someone and they don't like you back it is easy to think something is wrong with you. However, that is 100% not the case. The person is simply looking for something different. You are fantastic in your own right. This guy is the wrong guy for you. Every pot has a lid. This is not your lid, time to keep searching.
But, every time you meet someone promising, remember, just do NOTHING after the 1st date. He is going to tell you everything you need to know by how and when he pursues you.
Happy Dating Ladies and Gentleman. I look forward to hearing your success stories. If you are reading my blogs and noticed I missed a topic, please email me your questions at firstname.lastname@example.org
The first step to finding a person to love is loving yourself. The key to that, in my opinion, revolves around being happy most of the time and finding balance between the 6 major pillars of Happiness.
6 Pillars of Happiness
Why do you need balance?
A person with balance always has multiple pillars to lean on when one isn't doing well. Of course some pillars are more important than others. But as long as you have balance in your life, you will be able to positively look to a different pillar when another one is imploding.
How does this relate to finding love?
Men are attracted to women who have it together. When a man sees a woman who is educated, healthy, has an active social life, is spiritually in tune with the world and has a good career, he will fall all over himself to pursue her.
I know at times we can all be pulled towards one pillar or another and focus solely on that. But try to maintain balance in 2016. It will make you happier, help you love yourself and in turn make others more attracted to you.
Different people speak different languages when it comes to love. The key is understanding what languages your partner speaks, then fulfilling them the right way.
My girlfriend, for example, wants to spend time with me while I just want her to tell me she loves me. Between dates at the beginning of our relationship I would constantly tell her how amazing she is and that I was crazy about her. Although she appreciated the words, it was more meaningful to her if I went into NYC on a Wednesday night for couples BYOB painting class. (Great date by the way!)
The point is, every person has different preferences when it comes to showing and receiving love. Below are 5 love languages discussed in a book I read by Gary Chapman to help you determine what your 2 primary languages are.
1. Words of Affirmation
Encouragement - friends says "I want to lose weight." You say, "If you decide to do it I know you will succeed because you are the kind of person who accomplishes goals."
Praise - "you did an excellent job"
Kind Words - what we say and manner in which we say it. Ex: "I love you vs. I love you?" People interpret our message by our tone of voice, not the words we use.
2. Physical Touch - Self explanatory
3. Quality Time
Sympathetic Listener -
Do: maintain eye contact, ask questions,
Don't: provide solutions, roll eyes, take person's topic and talk about how it relates to you
Express Understanding - "I can see how you would feel that way. If I were in your shoes, I'm sure I would feel the same way"
Ask If you could do anything helpful
4. Acts of Service
Do these things because you want to, not because you’re forced
If you are a saver and your partner is a spender. You must spend as an investment in your love for her.
I would suggest implementing the love languages by first determining what your parent’s are. Once you determine that, you can attempt to speak their language and see how it affects your relationship with them.
For example, if your father is words of affirmation, thank him for being an amazing dad the next time you speak to him and see how he reacts to your compliment.
Moving forward, I would suggest in all relationships (business, personal, or love) figure out what language the person speaks and attempt to fulfill those needs. In return watch all your relationships blossom.