How Confidence, Not Being Less Available Wins The Guy
I was listening to the song, Next Boyfriend, by Lauren Alaina and everything about it resonated with what I am trying to teach. Here are some of the lyrics:
You look a lot like my next boyfriend I can't believe how much you act like him You and me, we'd be unbelievable And I'm available No, I don't think it's a coincidence I put it all together, it makes sense Boy, you ain't no fling or a could've been You look a lot like my next boyfriend
First, "you look a lot like my next boyfriend". This resonated because to me it speaks about how a man treats you. It doesn't matter if you have the title, are on your first date or have been dating for 6 months. How does he treat you? Does he treat you how you want to be treated? If he doesn't, have you told him what you expect?
Next, "you and me, we'd be unbelievable and I'm available." I love this. There is zero insecurity, zero confusion. "I'm available." That is confidence and honesty personified. No hard to get, no games, just openness.
In terms of men that are looking for life partners, they are looking for honesty, confidence, and strong communication. When you can articulate what you want, you are also communicating that you are equipped to navigate tough conversations, like where to live, finances, and other potentially difficult sit downs that come up when joining two lives.
Finally, so many "experts" talk about making yourself less available and yes, that can work. But every scientific study discusses how the sexiest/most desirable trait in the opposite sex is confidence. So instead of worrying about your availability, how about focusing on confidence and if you know you want something, stating it.