Meeting men during the different phases of your life can vary from being incredible easy to rather difficult. However, at most phases of your life, you are looking for quality over quantity which can certainly be a very daunting task.
But, let me show you how to do it for folks 21-75.
In my humble opinion I think the first step is defining what a QUALITY guy looks like for you. I would accomplish this by making a list of every possibly quality you want in a man. Next, I would shrink the list to your top 5 qualities. Now, moving forward you will only pursue men that have your top 5. After a first date, you will look at your list and if the guy has your 5, you will agree to a 2nd date, if he doesn't have your 5, then he won't' qualify for a 2nd date. Easy peezy right!?
Now that you have a quality man defined, it is time to figure out how you want to meet this guy. As far as I can tell there is almost an unlimited way to meet men. Some examples: Grocery shopping, ice skating, workout classes, online dating, through friends, religious organizations, meetup groups, Brazilian jui jitsui, running groups, travel groups, and the list goes on for some time. Which one of these methods excites you?
If the list is daunting and you don't know what to do, let me put you into 1 of 2 categories.
1 - Introverted or Just Prefer to Meet Men In the Comfort of Your Home
2 - Extroverted and Prefer to Meet Guys In Person
If you are category 1. I would highly suggest rocking online dating. If you are going to do online dating, I would suggest doing it my way. My was is the most efficient and successful strategy in the country. If this is interesting to you, buckle up, because I am going to rock your world with this.
If you don't want to do online dating, no big deal. Shoot down to my ideas for category 2 folks.
But, if you want to do online dating, HERE WE GO!
Okay, first off. If you are going to do anything, you should do it in the most efficient manner possible. Time is wildly valuable and if you are inefficient than you are wasting your valuable time. That is why I researched and eventually built the most efficient system possible.
Now, to be efficient you need to have a competitive advantage. A competitive advantage will come by doing something that most people are not doing. The activity I am speaking about is mass messaging from a traditional online dating site. For example, if you create a match account and start messaging men.
Most women either DO NOT message men or message a few a month. These metrics are way too low. In order to have a competitive advantage, you need to message at least 50 men in a week.
You are probably thinking, "Mike, how is this efficient? I am going to find 50 guys I am interested by spending a ton of time and then I am going to have think of a great message to send to them. This is crazy time consuming."
You would be 100% right if you did it that way. My suggestion is to copy and paste a message to the first 50 guys that look decent.
Then, when the guys reply to your message research their profiles, photos, messages, and determine which guys makes sense for you.
Why does this work?
What I have found is that when you send 50 messages, on average 12 men will be interested in you. From that 12, I want you to select 1 to go on a date with that week.
Now imagine, if you had 12 guys that wanted to date you every single week and your job was to simply pick 1. Don't you think that 1 date each week would be pretty good?
Oh baby, yes, it will be a great date! Using this system my clients only need to meet 6-8 guys to find someone they like.
Pretty awesome right?
We call that 50-12-1. In my opinion it is the only way to do online dating. It gives you more options and allows you to pick out quality men quickly.
Now, sometimes 50 doesn't produce 12. In that case send 100, 150, or even 200. If you can't get 12 from 200 then either your pictures, profile, or location you live is really hurting you. You may want to look into fixing one or all of those.
Alright, let's move on. Online dating is not for everyone.
So Category 2 folks that want to meet men in person, let's have some fun and get you out there.
How fun is this going to be?
First, pick something you enjoy doing OR better yet picking some activity you want to learn and that you are not good at yet.
Now you are probably thinking, "why something I am not good at?"
Great question my friend! When you are doing the activity and struggling you can turn to the nice guy next to you and ask him for help. While he helps you, perhaps you start to build a connection, or at the very least you can give him appreciation for his help and make him feel needed by you. (Men gravitate towards women that make them feel needed)
Okay, nice work. So there you have it. You got 2 massive categories on how you can meet men. Feel free to pick the category you enjoy most or if you are a switch hitter, start meeting men in both categories.
Alright beautiful lady, you got all the tools to make it happen. Go out there and get it done!
It was Wednesday night in Manhattan, towards the end of summer, and the air was balmy. I was lying atop my bed, fully clothed, facing the guy I’d met online a few months prior. Tonight was our sixth date. We’d just got back from a delicious dinner at the Vietnamese place next to my apartment.
Six dates was no easy feat in New York. In my experience, budding romances tended to drop off around the two to four date mark. I was thrilled to have met a man who I wanted to continue getting to know, who liked me back. It was nice to lie quietly and comfortably next to him, belly full of Pho.
I told him that I was writing an article (this one), about messages that guys were really into, and asked if he had any ideas. To my surprise, he immediately recounted a handful of the messages I’d sent him that had struck a chord, and made him want to take things further. Here’s what they were:
1. COMPLIMENT HIM
I wrote: “You Seem Lovely”
Using the word ‘lovely’ was particularly British of me, but the main point is, he loved being complimented. What man doesn’t want to be told that he’s hot, funny, or has great hair? I get an especially high response rate online when I open a conversation by telling a guy how cute he looks in his pictures. Compliments make people feel good, and people always want more of what feels good.
Anything complimentary works, but make sure it’s genuine, and try not to overdo it. There’s no need to stop the compliments flowing when you start dating – flattery works wonders at all stages of relationships.
2. RAISE A SHARED INTEREST
I wrote: “Have you seen the Calder exhibition at the Whitney?”
One of his dating profile pictures was baseball related, which I knew nothing about, and another was at Storm King sculpture gallery – where I’d been, and loved. Rather than asking an obvious question (“so you like art”?), I made it specific. This conveyed that a) I also liked art, and b) I had new and exciting ideas. It also planted the seed for a fab second date…
Whether it’s a hobby you’ve picked up on from his online profile, or just something you know he’s into, bring it up. Ideally, choose something you’re also a fan of (or at least curious about), as you’ll have more to say about it. Not sure what his jam is? Ask him! He’ll be pleased you want to know.
3. DON’T BE AFRAID TO BE DIRECT
I wrote: “Here’s my number, lets go out”
This was his all time favorite message of mine. He loved that I took initiative, and didn’t wait passively for him to do the asking. It said that I was keen, a sure thing, and didn’t want to play games… it also implied that I had better things to do than to waste time (which I did).
Try throwing old-school stereotypes out the window and tell him you like him. Don’t hesitate to move things along to an in-person date – momentum is key. If he asked you out the first time, make the move to suggest date number two. If he’s feeling you, he’ll love the forwardness; if he’s not, it’s better to find out sooner. No matter what, he’ll be flattered.
4. SHOW YOU WERE LISTENING
I wrote: “Good luck with the presentation today”
He thought it was amazing that not only had I paid attention to his big upcoming presentation, but that I was sweet enough to send him a message the morning of. He said that this was one of the moments he knew he really liked me.
Make an effort to remember what he tells you, and proactively reference previous messages or face to face conversations. It shows that you listen, that you’re thoughtful, that you’re bright, and most importantly – that you care.
5. BUILD ANTICIPATION
I wrote: “I can’t wait to see you later”
Who wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of this message? He told me it conveyed that I was thinking about him, and was enthusiastic about our time together. It also suggested a sense of urgency and passion, which was hot.
This message can be adapted to incorporate just about anything you ‘can’t wait’ to do with him later – be as risque as you dare! Everyone loves something to look forward to…
When he relaid these five messages, at first I was underwhelmed. Was this not common sense? Apparently not. He said I’d be surprised how few love prospects ever messaged him this way. I wondered why…
My first hypothesis was that some women still think men should put in the upfront effort, and do all the message wooing. Well people; it’s 2017, and I think that’s plain lazy – not to mention it reinforces unhelpful, female disempowering gender norms.
My second hypothesis was that in today’s tech-heavy, fast-paced, choice-laden society, many don’t bother to communicate thoughtfully and consistently. Attention spans are shortening, and we are quick to move onto the next thing, or person. People just don’t have the patience to nurture new relationships via messaging.
I believe messaging can make or break a fledgling romance, and that sending considered, personal and positive messages is your best-chance approach. He will love any message that makes him feel special, interesting, heard, or desired. Wouldn’t you? Ensuring your zesty texts stand out in his inbox is a surefire ticket into love territory.
On that note, I’m off to write an important message… a suggestion for date number seven:
Hey handsome (1). Is the week as crazy as you feared? (4) I’m keen to pick up some cherries at the market you told me about (2). Free Saturday…? (3) Looking forward to seeing you again *insert blushing smiley face or cherry emoji here* (5).
Simple, right? Remember: a little effort goes a long way in the messaging universe.
About Your Author
Amelia is a British dating & lifestyle blogger, living her New York dream. Think Carrie Bradshaw but raunchier, and a lot more Jewish. Follow her blog, She Made the Move, for tempting tips on dating, eating and everything in between...
Going on first dates can be grueling and/or exciting. However, one thing is certain. It is typically going to take quite a few first dates before 1. You are ready to find the one and 2. You actually meet the one. However, before you are fully ready to embark on finding the one you need to get yourself in a desirable position so when you bump into each other he doesn't head for the hills.
Thus, I created the following video to show you 4 Ways to Get The Right Guy To Like You. I created this video not to show you the obvious answers but teach you subtle nuances that you may not even realize you are doing that might be preventing you from landing a guy. Enjoy the video:
In case you were unable to watch the video.
Here are the 4 Ways To Get The Right Guy To Like You
1. Have Your Own Life
You want a man who is passionate about something. Guess what, he wants a woman who is passionate about something. Maybe once a week you go to dance class, jujitsu, chess workshop, or soccer. Any of these activities will draw a certain type of guy to be intrigued by your passion.
2. Have Your Own Opinion
Easy to Understand Ex: He asks, where do you want to go to dinner Thursday? Your respond, "I don't know." This is a very typical answer and quite frankly frustrating. The guy is asking because his main goal is to make you happy and then receive appreciation for making you happy. If you don't give him a specific road map on how to make you happy, he may struggle to figure it out on his own. If he can't figure out how to make you happy, he will move on to look for someone he can make happy.
So on this particular example, here is what you should do. You Say, "I want Italian food." Then he can research and find great Italian restaurant. When you are on the date, you can say, "This is the best Italian food I have ever had. Thank you so much for taking me here." (He feels like he just conquered the world) GREAT JOB!
3. Wear something you feel comfortable in
If you wear the sexiest outfit in the world but you are fidgeting, you will not come off sexy. Wearing something nice that you feel comfortable in, that doesn't require constant movement to make sure things stay where they are supposed to and you will be able to 1. focus on the conversation and 2. be confident and sexy.
4. Ask Him Questions and Don't belittle his answers
Don't Do This - He says, "I did this 2 minute interview on Fox News." You says, "That's so cool, my friend Tony had a 15 minute segment."
Although, it is great that you are relating on a similar topic, it is terrible that you used another man as the connection point and worse yet, your story is bigger and better than his. Your guy will shrink into his chair and feel very small.
Instead say, "Wow, that is amazing. What was the segment on?"
Alright folks, there you have it, How to Get The Right Guy To Like You. Once again, make sure to have your ducks in a row and then go out there, be vulnerable and go on some dates. Remember, just because one date is terrible doesn't mean the next one won't be great. You only need one guy to find the one.