Explanation of how you need to set clear boundaries or men will walk all over you.
This is the 21st century, women are independent. Women are supporting themselves in the workforce. Women are marrying later. Women can do anything a man can do. No one is questioning any of these assertions. But should women still make men feel needed when they don't need them?
In regards to landing and keeping a husband, my answer is 100% yes. If you don't make a man feel needed he is going to be heading for the hills quick.
However, if you don't need him, and maybe he knows it, how do you accomplish making him feel needed?
Let start with the easy ones:
1. Let him fill up your water cup and say "thank you" when he does it (Obviously you can do this yourself, but that "thank you" is going to have him smiling ear to ear and feeling like he CAN do things for you)
2. Ask him for help with anything. Ex: Writing a resume, opening a pickle jar, or even opening the door for you. "Would you mind getting the door for me" ... "Oh you big strong man, thank you." Over the top? You bet it is, but try it and see how big his smile is.
3. Next time he gets you your cell phone, give him a big wet one
4. Grab his arm when walking down the street. "I feel so safe in your arms." Once again, have you ever seen a smile so big?
5. Ask for Advice - I am a man, I don't know why but we LOVE to give advice. I think it makes us feel important, like we are making a difference for another person.
Whoops, there aren't any hard ones, guess you will just have to practice the easy ones. Now go make all the men in your life feel needed even though you are more than capable do everything yourself.
Time and time again, we hear some cliché advice that men are simple. Feed them, Fuck them, and leave them alone or some other generic quote, whatever.
First, I am tired of advice that can't get immediate and long lasting results easily.
Second, yes, men are simple to understand through the eyes of other men. But when you try to understand men, it is really difficult? Why?
You are not a man, and your operation manual is 180 degrees different than his. Thus, even after I outline the definitive road map to making men happy, it is still going to be somewhat unclear because since you are a woman, you will never understand what goes on in a man's brain. But I promise we are going to get one huge step closer RIGHT NOW.
THE ROAD MAP
1. Tell a Man Exactly What You Want
If he cares about you and what you are asking is easy, he will do it. After he does it, say thank you and appreciate him for doing it.
1. You are going on a date and you are tired of seeing his ratty flip flops. You say, "Hey, for our date would you please wear those sexy black shoes we just bought, I love them so much more than your sandals."
You get on the date and he is wearing the black shoes. You say, "Wow babe, you look so great in those shoes"
2. You have a live in boyfriend and he always leaves dirty dishes in the sink. You say, "Boyfriend, you would make me the happiest girl in the world if you would wash your dirty dishes within an hour or two of eating"
When he does it, go give him a huge kiss, and say, "You are the best, thank you!" or maybe even slip into something more comfortable and show him how much you appreciate his effort to make you happy. Or, go buy some water guns and have a playful water fight. (Who doesn't want the fun playful girl forever?)
What Did We Learn Today?
Men need to be told in very specific language what you need. When they do what you need, you need to appreciate them for their effort.
Men are 100% not capable of being mind readers.
Yes, it would be nice if occasionally he did stuff on his own. Ladies, stop holding your breathe, it is not going to happen that often. But, if you specifically tell him what you want, he will do it.
Why Must This Happen To Have a Better Relationship?
Men want to make their girlfriend happy. They don't know how to do it. Women want to be happy. If they tell the man what they want, the man will do it.
If the man does what the woman wants, she is happy. If she is happy she is able to appreciate the man. When the man is appreciated, he is happy.
All of a sudden we have two happy people in a very successful and communicative relationship.
Finally, all these principles apply to dating and courting too.
Man invites you on a third date for Saturday. He didn't specify what you would do but wanted to block off the day to spend together. The man is racking his brain for good 3rd date ideas. You are dying to go the beach because the weather is finally nice and you have been cooped up all winter.
Text him, "I would love to go to the beach Saturday unless you already made other plans for us."
This is great, the man can stop wondering what the perfect date for you is. He will simply pick a beach and pick you up, and because of your awesomeness you both got what you wanted.