Last week I was sitting down with a client to create her online dating profile and we got to the section that said, "What are you doing with your life?"
The answer was Managing Director of an entire division, managing over 500 people. She asked me, "is it okay to put that there?" I said, "100%, yes!"
"But won't I scare men away?" She quickly retorted.
I replied, "I hope so! The man that is right for you will be impressed by your success, and be excited to learn more about you. The guy that is wrong for you, will be intimidated and instead of building you up and pushing you forward will compare his career to yours and feel inadequate."
You can craft an online dating profile that is a total people pleaser and you will receive more messages than everyone else. Or you can create a profile that truly depicts who you are and what you need in a partner and then receive messages from men that want you and are solid contenders for a lifelong partner.
I would suggest the latter because who has time to go on 2000 dates with men that can't handle your success and don't want you for you?
I have been notorious for saying, "If a man wants a woman and there is a 1,000 foot wall between him and that woman, well he is either going to climb that wall or bust right through it." This statement is true for a lot of situations. However, there are times when it is 100% false. There are men out there that have been coined the type B personality (Beta Male) that no matter what happens will never approach a woman. These Beta Males are sometimes the best fathers, best listeners, most fun, and greatest husbands.
However, if these guys are NEVER going to approach you, how do you get to them? Click here for answers.
Well, in online dating, the same problem exists. If you are not the sexiest man alive or the equivalent to Shakespeare writing messages than you may go unnoticed. Thus, there must be a dating app for people with different talents.
Enter Hart, the new dating app for artists. "Hart is a unique way to express yourself so that others can be attracted to your creative side. Upload anything interesting about you into your blank canvas, plus five words to complete the presentation. View what others have created and swipe right to start a conversation by sending a critique-response. No face photos because this is the opportunity to show that you are more than just another pretty face."
I absolutely love this idea and app, especially for women. It has been scientifically proven that if a woman rates the attractiveness of a stranger on a 0-10 scale as X and then falls in love with his personality, his attractiveness can move as much as a full 4 basis points. Thus, a 5 turns into a 9. Meaning telling relationship oriented women to choose men based on looks is about as effective as telling Kim Kardashian to stop posting Instagram photos and expecting a result.
Now, in order to come full circle, Hart Dating App has created an easy way for women to finally get access to the type B guy. This is very exciting because until now there was literally no way to get to them and certainly no great way to get to artists. So download the app, and take your first step to landing the men that most likely have never messaged you on any of your other dating apps.
I am the perfect dating coach to answer this question. I hate to admit this, but I probably go on Facebook 10 times a day for scrolling purposes and I am a man who used to pursue women on Facebook. (I actually got a first date via messaging my current girlfriend on Facebook)
Here is exactly what happens when a woman posts a half naked picture like the one below on Facebook:
1. Man internally says either, "Gross, not attracted to you" or "I want to have sex with you"
If man says the latter, he either keeps scrolling or sends the girl a message.
The "message guy's" only intention right now is what is the fastest and easiest way to get this woman into bed. Even if it comes in the form of "Long time no talk, how are you? What is new" or any variation of this message.
Since we are no longer caveman and can't do the following:
men now resort to a civilized socially acceptable offering of sex.
Now, chances are, you are going to get a few dates from a bathing suit picture. You are going to think, wow, posting these pictures really works. However, what happens on these dates? Does the guy try to take you home in the first night? Although I do believe that men do look for sex and find love while women are the opposite, there is a better way to get a more high quality date through Facebook.
Try a picture like this:
This woman look beautiful and is extremely appealing to most men. Most importantly she is not showing off cleavage, her but, or anything scandalous. She is simply pretty and classy. Her outfit maybe even suggests that she is the girl next door. The girl next door is usually a woman that needs to be courted. She needs to feel special, respected, and cherished. When all these things happen, and she feels comfortable, then and only then can a relationship become sexual.
Bottom line, if you want a husband
Do - Post pictures where you look beautiful, classy, sexy and sophisticated
Don't - Post pictures where you show off skin