This is not going to be a surprise but good looking, successful, 30-55 year old men looking for commitment are hard to find. However, if you do find them, they are being sought after by every other single woman in New Jersey and NYC. How are you going to stand out and actually get a date?
This article could be 20 pages and still not cover everything. But since we are all busy I am going to make this under a page and give you the single most important piece of advice I can give you.
Successful men, exactly like successful women work a lot and VALUE their free time.
How does this effect online dating?
Simple, if you make the guy who works all the time go through hoop after hoop to get you on a date, he is 100% going to move onto the next girl.
What is a hoop?
1. Lots of messaging back and forth
2. Asking for him to email you
3. Requesting a phone call
Get to an in person date as soon as possible. If you go on a first date and he likes you. Soon he will be emailing, calling, and messaging you plenty. However, DO NOT make him invest the time without getting him on the hook first.
I get female clients into relationships 83% of the time. Why am I telling you this, because I want you to not just read my advice, but actually use it and be successful.
When I was in my mid 20's I was a successful sales professional. In my prior life I had been ranked as high as #2 out of 5,000 sales people. After leaving the insurance industry I was looking for my next challenge. An ex-partner of IBM and I linked up and quickly built a strong bond. He believed in my sales acumen and asked me to single handily open a NY IT consulting branch. I knew nothing about IT but at the time believed sales is sales, I can do it!
My boss knew I didn't know anything about IT and gave me specific orders. "Go make friends with anyone in IT and if people like you they will fill their consulting needs through you." Easy enough. During my journey to make friends, I remember setting up an appointment to meet with an IT director at a fortune 500 company. I was confirming the appointment on the phone and he said,
"Mike, I am not sure if you want to meet with me right now, my company is on a hiring freeze"
I said, "I understand Alex, I make my friends when times are bad, so when things turn around you know exactly who to call"
We met that day, and like Alex said, he had nothing for me. However, I said "Alex, I want to continue this relationship, in one month I am going to take you out to lunch."
At that lunch I received an opportunity to submit a proposal for a project as well as received a job description to fill a consulting role. Less than a week later I made my first sale with Alex.
Over the next three years, I was always his first call whenever he needed anything, including when he left his firm and become CTO at another company.
"Mike, why the heck did you tell me this story?"
Very simple. "If you don't know, go" - Brian Murrow
This means, if a guy asks you on a date and you are not sure. Go on the date!
Why is this so important?
Women are constantly complaining about the quality of their dates not being good. However, women are disqualifying dates for valid reasons but NOT for the most important reasons.
Let's say these are the 5 things you need in a life partner: (Here is How You Build this List for Yourself)
1. Great Communicator
2. Positive Attitude
3. Passionate about his work
4. Lives a healthy lifestyle
Do NOT disqualify men UNLESS with 100% certainty you are sure they are missing one or more of your 5 required qualities.
For example, today one of my clients called me and said a guy she was texting with, (have not been on a date yet), asked, "I want to know where this is headed, I am only looking for marriage, are you ultimately looking to get married?"
Now from her perspective, she is like why is this stranger asking me if I want to get married. It seems like the question is coming a little soon. My client was freaked out and debating canceling the date.
However, although I 100% agreed that the guy was too forward by asking this question. I actually felt more secure having my client date this man. I know that he is serious and most likely won't waste her time.
Also, although it wasn't the best dating etiquette, this guy still appears to have our 5 must haves from above, or at least we aren't sure yet if he doesn't. Since "you don't know, go!"
Now, if you found out he smokes cigarettes, and doesn't work out. Well, that doesn't fit into a healthy lifestyle and you 100% should cancel the date. No need to waste time.
Final Point: Men probably have about 10% of the social/verbal skills that women do.
Remember, when we were kids on the playground. The boys would play kill the carrier and women would be huddled into a circle chatting. (Obviously I am over simplify just to explain a point)
Well, the women gained vital social skills and exponentially increased their verbal skills. Men, on the other hand did not get these skills.
Thus, men are going to fumble on the phone, whether speaking or texting. Bare with the guy, he only has 10% of your ability in this area. Hopefully, he makes up for it in other areas.
Bottom line, don't exclude men on minor mistakes, but do remove men if they are missing your non negotiables. If you need to learn the proper way to build your 5 non-negotiable's list, go here.