- Crista Caruso
- Jun 27, 2018
- 2 min read
EZ Dating Coach, Mike Goldstein's, friend was on top of the world when she got back from a romantic vacation with her boyfriend. She felt like they really bonded and truly connected on their trip. She was taken off guard when they returned home and he suddenly went emotionally M.I.A. All he wanted to do was be alone and play video games! What happened? Does he not love her anymore?
Believe it or not, men actually tend to pull away more when they are in love. Research shows that when men fall in love, their testosterone level drops. This is due to an increase in their estrogen and oxytocin levels. As a man gets closer to a woman, it awakens his female side, bringing out characteristics and qualities such as vulnerability, interdependence, and being emotional and nurturing. If it gets to be too much, it can suppress their masculine side. This makes the man want to pull away to try to feel independent and quiet his mind, to solve problems and achieve his goals, and ultimately increase his male energy and testosterone.
Watching your man pull away can leave you feeling confused or hurt. You can take comfort in knowing that he is not pulling away from you because he loves you any less. He is simply searching for balance.
Check out this video to hear what John Gray, the author of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus", has to say regarding this topic:
Wondering if you would be a good fit for coaching with EZ Dating Coach? Book A complimentary 15 minute strategy session HERE and find out. Let's get you a high quality man that will be yours forever.
- Crista Caruso
- Jun 21, 2018
- 2 min read
Has this ever happened to you?... You're in a relationship and everything is going great and then BOOM!... He disappears! This is a very common issue. So many women are left baffled when their boyfriend suddenly becomes distant. Do you want to know something else that these women have in common? They all blame themselves or feel anger and frustration toward their boyfriends.
"What did I do wrong?"
"Why is he acting like this?"
"Does he not care about me at all?"
In a panic, they reach out for answers but it only seems to push him further and further away. One of EZ Dating Coach, Mike Goldstein's, friend experienced the same thing. She and her boyfriend have been together for a long time and they were as happy as could be. Suddenly, out of nowhere, her boyfriend disappeared! Worried that something was wrong, she reached out to make sure that he was OK. He remained distant and only seemed to pull away more. That made her worried that she did something wrong. It turned out that it had nothing to do with her. He was stressed out at work and just needed a little space. The issue was solved when Mike helped her to realize that all that she had to do was give her boyfriend the space that he needed.
Men will often detach as a way to try to manage stress. This can feel like a shock to their partner, often leaving them wondering what went wrong. Of course, the first thing you should do is reach out and make sure that everything is OK. Any further questions after that might feel overwhelming to the man who is just trying to relax. Questions that come from a place of genuine love and concern can be seen as naggy and irritating. This may cause frustration, creating a larger problem in the end.
So, what can you do when your man disappears? Reaffirm that you are there for him if he needs you and then give him space. Use this time to connect with other things that make you happy. Everyone deals with stress in their own way. It may feel strange because it is different from the way that you handle stress but try to remember that his being distant has nothing to do with you or your relationship. Give him time and space to work through everything or decompress.
Want to learn more? John Gray, the author of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus", shares his insights on this topic and delves into how these issues have evolved throughout history in the video below:
Wondering if you would be a good fit for coaching with EZ Dating Coach? Book A complimentary 15 minute strategy session HERE and find out. Let's get you a high quality man that will be yours forever.
- Crista Caruso
- Jun 20, 2018
- 2 min read
It is natural for you to feel a bit of uncertainty when it comes to your relationship. Maybe you've been hurt before or maybe it just doesn't feel like a fairytale romance that is portrayed in the movies. Whatever the reason, before long, these doubts leave you asking yourself, "How do I know that he's the right guy for me?"
You start to worry that if you are having doubts, that must mean that he isn't the one. If he is your soul mate, shouldn't you just know? Shouldn't everything be perfect?
In response to these thoughts and fears, we can have a number of different reactions. These reactions are completely normal and very common but they will often cause more issues in the relationship. Women might rush into a commitment to help rid themselves of all of the uncertainty. Rushing into a commitment before you're ready can lead to disaster. It might feel instinctual to hold tightly onto something so you won't lose it but this can often have the opposite effect.
Men, on the other hand, tend to pull away in response to these feelings. When women see men pulling away for them, they often times will panic or blame themselves. This can lead to them beating themselves up and obsessing over all of the details. Often worried that they did something wrong, they will reach out to the man to try to figure out what happened. These insecurities can be read as neediness by the man, and BANG! ...They pull away even more.
We all have insecurities in many areas of our lives and relationships are no exception! It is important to try to worry less and trust more. DON'T PANIC! Trust your heart.
Another important thing to remember is that life isn't a movie. You aren't going to run into his arms in slow motion. There isn't going to be a montage of perfect little moments. He isn't going to speak to you in poetry that makes your heart soar. The only thing that is guaranteed in love is that it isn't going to be perfect. But that's what love is... Sometimes, it's saying and doing the wrong thing and sometimes it's messy. Love is perfectly imperfect and the right one for you will be there with you through it all.
Maybe you'll have an aha moment or maybe it will be a collection of moments that show you what you need to know. When you look to the future, you can't picture it without him. That's how you know your guys is the right guy for you.
Want to learn more about this topic? Watch this video for great insights from John Gray, author of "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus":
Wondering if you would be a good fit for coaching with me? Book A complimentary 15 minute strategy session with me HERE and find out. Let's get you a high quality man that will be yours forever.
