We all go on so many first dates. Most of them are not great. However, every once in awhile the date goes very well. You get home, you start thinking about the person and begin to see how your life could be different with them in it. You have feelings of butterflies, excitement, and curiosity about whether this person could be something great.
However, soon after, you start to wonder, should I call the person, should I text, will he reach out to me? Ah!!!!!! What should you do?
First, you need to have a process on whether this person truly has the qualities you need in a life partner. This process can be found here. No willy-nilly dating here. We only focus our time on men that meet the standard we know we need!
Now, assuming he has the traits YOU NEED. The next step is super simple.
Do absolutely NOTHING.
Don't over think it, don't text him. Do NOTHING.
Why are you doing this?
The man's actions after early relationship dating will tell you all the story you need to know about whether he likes you or not.
If he texts/calls you within 48 hours, things are looking promising. If he asks you out again within 48 hours, this is a good sign.
If a man is interested in you, he will move hell and high water to get to you. You need not do anything. He is coming for you if interested.
If for some reason he doesn't reach out, don't be insulted and try to not to get upset. This decisions to not reach out has NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU PERSONALLY.
He is not interested simply because he is looking for something different. The something different could be a million things but here is a few examples
1. He wants sex and realizes you want a relationship
2. Wants someone who is athletic, you are more of a book person
3. Prefers a woman who is curvy, you have a skinny tennis body
4. He only dates circus clowns :)
5. This list could go forever
My point is simple. When you like someone and they don't like you back it is easy to think something is wrong with you. However, that is 100% not the case. The person is simply looking for something different. You are fantastic in your own right. This guy is the wrong guy for you. Every pot has a lid. This is not your lid, time to keep searching.
But, every time you meet someone promising, remember, just do NOTHING after the 1st date. He is going to tell you everything you need to know by how and when he pursues you.
Happy Dating Ladies and Gentleman. I look forward to hearing your success stories. If you are reading my blogs and noticed I missed a topic, please email me your questions at datingcoachmike@gmail.com
Mike Goldstein
The first step to finding a person to love is loving yourself. The key to that, in my opinion, revolves around being happy most of the time and finding balance between the 6 major pillars of Happiness.
6 Pillars of Happiness
Why do you need balance?
A person with balance always has multiple pillars to lean on when one isn't doing well. Of course some pillars are more important than others. But as long as you have balance in your life, you will be able to positively look to a different pillar when another one is imploding.
How does this relate to finding love?
Men are attracted to women who have it together. When a man sees a woman who is educated, healthy, has an active social life, is spiritually in tune with the world and has a good career, he will fall all over himself to pursue her.
I know at times we can all be pulled towards one pillar or another and focus solely on that. But try to maintain balance in 2016. It will make you happier, help you love yourself and in turn make others more attracted to you.
Mike Goldstein
New experiences can be the spice of life. Not to mention if you are genuinely enjoying the activity you are doing, it may reflect in your attitude towards your date. Here are 5 new date ideas that should help inject some excitement in 2016.
1. BYOB Painting
Not to sell this date too hard, but I absolutely loath painting and was very skeptical when my girlfriend wanted to take me to a BYOB painting class. However once I was there, I had the most amazing time and would definitely do it again. Also, I have zero artistic ability. But the instructor goes step by step and literally anyone can follow along.
2. Returning/Exchanging Holiday Gifts
I’m a huge fan of doing errands as a date. Errands always provide for a casual date that seems to remove the pressure and typically allow for easier more free flowing conversation. Not to mention aren't errands more fun when you have someone fun and good looking at your side?
3. Cooking Class
Everyone loves food. Everyone loves a person that can cook. However, even if you can't cook, everyone loves a person who is willing to try things they aren’t good at. And like the painting class, your cooking instructors will help you look like a chef even if you aren’t one.
4. Comedy Show
This is good idea later in a relationship. It’s a horrible first date because you can't get to know each other and may be awkward based on the topics of the jokes. However, if you know each other well, this is a great way to blow off steam and have some good laughs that leave you excited for the rest of the night.
5. Trivia Night
If you want to create some laughs yourself, nothing beats Tuesday trivia night at your local bar. The questions are usually fun (throwback shows and movies are always referenced), which gives you an opportunity to make witty commentary. And who doesn’t like that.
I am always looking for new fun dates. If you have any suggestions, please leave some ideas below. Thanks for contributing!