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Should You Be Listening to Your Girlfriends in Regards to Dating Advice?


I remember when I was a 15 year old boy, and yes I will use the word boy even though I supposedly turned into a man at age 13 (Bar Mitzvah) I got my dating advice from my close friends. My closest friend, Joe, would always tell me that you can't be nice to women. You need to command them, put them down, and show your raw dominance over them. At the time I had to think his words had merit because he always seemed to do very well with women. (Obviously, later in life I learned he was full of shit) Anyway, him and I would partner up and head to the mall to hit on women.

One of us would approach, typically taking turns to initiate conversation. Once we thought the women were receptive to having a conversation, we would both talk to them. Joe would dominate conversation and would make fun of me. I would pretend to be sad, one woman would comfort me while the other woman would laugh. The girl that would laugh would be Joe's, while the woman that was sympathetic would be mine. This strategy worked quite well and suited our personalities.

However, obviously this "routine" was not entirely genuine and of course did little in terms of building a true connection and facilitating actually getting to know each other. Thus, this strategy would need to evolve.

Anyway, I probably told this story because it made me feel nostalgic of the fun of hitting on strangers at a mall. But, why is this story valuable for you? It shows that advice from friends can be good and/or bad. In this case, my friend's advice, in the short term of picking up women was probably half decent. But, in the long term, including karma, and building true intimacy, it was disingenuous and not helpful for me or the women I courted.

So, in order to help you decide if your friend's dating advice is any good, I have decided to over generalize but put your friends into two buckets: "Yes" Friends and "Guardian" Friends:

1. The "Yes" Friend - The yes friend simply tells you whatever you want to hear. You get a bad haircut, she tells you, "Wow, I love your haircut. You look amazing!" You have a boyfriend or potential boyfriend that you like and clearly doesn't treat you how to deserve to be treated the yes friend says, "Yea, you are right, give him a second chance." The yes friend is a valuable friend for boosting your ego and having less stressful conversations but she is not a person to get advice from. (At l