Meeting men during the different phases of your life can vary from being incredible easy to rather difficult. However, at most phases of your life, you are looking for quality over quantity which can certainly be a very daunting task.
But, let me show you how to do it for folks 21-75.
In my humble opinion I think the first step is defining what a QUALITY guy looks like for you. I would accomplish this by making a list of every possibly quality you want in a man. Next, I would shrink the list to your top 5 qualities. Now, moving forward you will only pursue men that have your top 5. After a first date, you will look at your list and if the guy has your 5, you will agree to a 2nd date, if he doesn't have your 5, then he won't' qualify for a 2nd date. Easy peezy right!?
Now that you have a quality man defined, it is time to figure out how you want to meet this guy. As far as I can tell there is almost an unlimited way to meet men. Some examples: Grocery shopping, ice skating, workout classes, online dating, through friends, religious organizations, meetup groups, Brazilian jui jitsui, running groups, travel groups, and the list goes on for some time. Which one of these methods excites you?
If the list is daunting and you don't know what to do, let me put you into 1 of 2 categories.
1 - Introverted or Just Prefer to Meet Men In the Comfort of Your Home
2 - Extroverted and Prefer to Meet Guys In Person
If you are category 1. I would highly suggest rocking online dating. If you are going to do online dating, I would suggest doing it my way. My was is the most efficient and successful strategy in the country. If this is interesting to you, buckle up, because I am going to rock your world with this.
If you don't want to do online dating, no big deal. Shoot down to my ideas for category 2 folks.
But, if you want to do online dating, HERE WE GO!
Okay, first off. If you are going to do anything, you should do it in the most efficient manner possible. Time is wildly valuable and if you are inefficient than you are wasting your valuable time. That is why I researched and eventually built the most efficient system possible.
Now, to be efficient you need to have a competitive advantage. A competitive advantage will come by doing something that most people are not doing. The activity I am speaking about is mass messaging from a traditional online dating site. For example, if you create a match account and start messaging men.
Most women either DO NOT message men or message a few a month. These metrics are way too low. In order to have a competitive advantage, you need to message at least 50 men in a week.
You are probably thinking, "Mike, how is this efficient? I am going to find 50 guys I am interested by spending a ton of time and then I am going to have think of a great message to send to them. This is crazy time consuming."
You would be 100% right if you did it that way. My suggestion is to copy and paste a message to the first 50 guys that look decent.
Then, when the guys reply to your message research their profiles, photos, messages, and determine which guys makes sense for you.
Why does this work?
What I have found is that when you send 50 messages, on average 12 men will be interested in you. From that 12, I want you to select 1 to go on a date with that week.
Now imagine, if you had 12 guys that wanted to date you every single week and your job was to simply pick 1. Don't you think that 1 date each week would be pretty good?
Oh baby, yes, it will be a great date! Using this system my clients only need to meet 6-8 guys to find someone they like.
Pretty awesome right?
We call that 50-12-1. In my opinion it is the only way to do online dating. It gives you more options and allows you to pick out quality men quickly.
Now, sometimes 50 doesn't produce 12. In that case send 100, 150, or even 200. If you can't get 12 from 200 then either your pictures, profile, or location you live is really hurting you. You may want to look into fixing one or all of those.
Alright, let's move on. Online dating is not for everyone.
So Category 2 folks that want to meet men in person, let's have some fun and get you out there.
How fun is this going to be?
First, pick something you enjoy doing OR better yet picking some activity you want to learn and that you are not good at yet.
Now you are probably thinking, "why something I am not good at?"
Great question my friend! When you are doing the activity and struggling you can turn to the nice guy next to you and ask him for help. While he helps you, perhaps you start to build a connection, or at the very least you can give him appreciation for his help and make him feel needed by you. (Men gravitate towards women that make them feel needed)
Okay, nice work. So there you have it. You got 2 massive categories on how you can meet men. Feel free to pick the category you enjoy most or if you are a switch hitter, start meeting men in both categories.
Alright beautiful lady, you got all the tools to make it happen. Go out there and get it done!
It is natural for you to feel a bit of uncertainty when it comes to your relationship. Maybe you've been hurt before or maybe it just doesn't feel like a fairytale romance that is portrayed in the movies. Whatever the reason, before long, these doubts leave you asking yourself, "How do I know that he's the right guy for me?"
You start to worry that if you are having doubts, that must mean that he isn't the one. If he is your soul mate, shouldn't you just know? Shouldn't everything be perfect?
In response to these thoughts and fears, we can have a number of different reactions. These reactions are completely normal and very common but they will often cause more issues in the relationship. Women might rush into a commitment to help rid themselves of all of the uncertainty. Rushing into a commitment before you're ready can lead to disaster. It might feel instinctual to hold tightly onto something so you won't lose it but this can often have the opposite effect.
Men, on the other hand, tend to pull away in response to these feelings. When women see men pulling away for them, they often times will panic or blame themselves. This can lead to them beating themselves up and obsessing over all of the details. Often worried that they did something wrong, they will reach out to the man to try to figure out what happened. These insecurities can be read as neediness by the man, and BANG! ...They pull away even more.
We all have insecurities in many areas of our lives and relationships are no exception! It is important to try to worry less and trust more. DON'T PANIC! Trust your heart.
Another important thing to remember is that life isn't a movie. You aren't going to run into his arms in slow motion. There isn't going to be a montage of perfect little moments. He isn't going to speak to you in poetry that makes your heart soar. The only thing that is guaranteed in love is that it isn't going to be perfect. But that's what love is... Sometimes, it's saying and doing the wrong thing and sometimes it's messy. Love is perfectly imperfect and the right one for you will be there with you through it all.
Maybe you'll have an aha moment or maybe it will be a collection of moments that show you what you need to know. When you look to the future, you can't picture it without him. That's how you know your guys is the right guy for you.
Want to learn more about this topic? Watch this video for great insights from John Gray, author of "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus":
Wondering if you would be a good fit for coaching with me? Book A complimentary 15 minute strategy session with me HERE and find out. Let's get you a high quality man that will be yours forever.