It’s the end of the first date. You just had drinks at three different bars around NYC and now you are walking your beautiful date home to her apartment. Your heart is pounding because you are thinking about if you need to perform the always cliché kiss at the door.
How did you get to this point? Who wants to kiss someone when every movie, book, and social cue tells us it needs to happen? Call me anti conformist if you must, but I WILL NOT KISS THE GIRL AT THE DOOR!
I don't care how long she jingles her keys at the door, fumbles through her purse, or stares into my eyes and asks me silly questions just to keep me at the door. It is not happening! Missed Opportunity? I think Not! What if randomly on the walk to her apt. in the middle of her sentence about how many carrots she ate on Tuesday, I lean in, place my lips half a inch from hers, pause, and wait to see what she thinks about being this close to me. BOOM! Fireworks! And we have a first kiss. In case you were that interested, she had 15 baby carrots on Tuesday ;)
Now, how do we know if she wants to kiss?
Some signs that are sometimes true:
She stares at your lips
She puts on lip gloss (Not applicable if she does this early in the date)
She stares at your lips
Long awkward stare with no conversation at Close Range (Switch to guns, too close for missiles...I may have watched Top Gun too many times)
Walk straight at her, does she move or hold strong in her spot? No movement, BINGO!
Pucker up ladies and gentleman!
Ever got back from a first date so excited thinking, "Wow, that went well! I can't wait to see him again."
However, he never calls to setup the 2nd date. Here is the list of everything you should and should not do on a first date.
Meet at a bar for a drink
Ask Open Ended Questions to get the other person chatting (Ex: Where did you grow up? Where have you traveled to? What is your favorite tv show/book?)
Wear Jeans with a nice shirt, dress shoes for men and heels for women
Pick a location that is close to both you and your date
If you are the man, I would suggest paying the bill
If you are female, I would suggest offering to help pay the bill (Hopefully the man politely declines)
Open the door for a lady, help her with her coat, pull the seat out for her
It IS okay to kiss on the first date
Spinning or any event which will cause a girl to sweat profusely (Good date down the road, not a first date)
Talk about X BF or GF
Longer stories - No one cares! Keep answers to 2-3 sentences. If your date is interested, he or she will ask a follow up question. If no question comes, let's move on to a different topic by asking a question
Wear a scandalous dress - If you dress physical, you will get physical responses. (Of course if that is what you are looking for, please dress accordingly)
Chat about Politics
Check your Phone or worst yet have an active text conversation
Long drawn out stories about medical issues
Invite him/her out on a Friday or Saturday evening
Talk about your job for majority of the date (It is called work and not fun for a reason) Talk about fun things!
Talk about your brother's obsession with smoking/harvesting marijuana (Yes this happened to me) TMI - save your skeletons in the closet for down the road. Once the person likes you, they are more likely to be accepting of minor faults or interesting family members
"No Sex before Monogamy"
Get sloppy drunk
Five years ago when I was feeling lonely because I didn't have a significant other, I went to the bar on a Saturday Night in hopes of getting a girl's phone number. Now, on Saturday afternoon I debate whether going to Madisons in Hoboken, NJ is a better use of time than swiping right or left on Tinder or OkCupid.
Empirical data will show that I can schedule way more dates at home with my phone than I can at the local bar in Hoboken, NJ. However, what am I losing? Do I want to be the guy that consistently sits at home on a Saturday night tinkering around on his Droid or computer? Is that attractive to the opposite sex? Better yet, maybe I should play X-Box all night and see how many zombies I can kill? Now, ladies who who is interested in going on a date with me?
Hm, zero takers?
I think dating, just like a well oiled marketing plan must come from many different mediums. I believe you need to meet people online, at bars, through friends making introductions, walking around musuems, at the local coffee house, and maybe even the occasional message on Facebook.
So let's get out there and make new relationships through the real world and internet!