top of page

Instead of Complaining, How Can You Get Men To Change Their Behavior?

Have you ever experienced this?... You come home after a long day at work, hoping to finally relax. When you walk through the door, you are met with a sink full of dishes or a messy room and that is the last straw. Why is he so messy? You're too tired for this! Why should you have to clean up after him?

You might start yelling because you are so frustrated. This leads to him either ignoring you or getting frustrated with you. Why are you nagging him? It's no big deal!

Research shows that when a man comes home from work, his stress level drops significantly. When a woman comes home from work, she brings the stress home with her. This is because when a woman is at work, she is on her male side all day long. You can't show negative feelings like discontent, frustration, disappointment, or feelings of inadequacy at work. Once a woman gets home, she experiences an increase in her cortisol, the appropriately titled "stress hormone". This leads to her being hypercritical of her surroundings. This is overwhelming, stressful, and difficult to process. When you suppress your emotions all day it's only a matter of time before BANG! explode! As the woman points out everything that's wrong, the man feels attacked and frustrated and most likely not open to changing the behavior that upset her.

So, how can you get him to change his negative behavior?

Step 1: Don't Try To Change Him From A Place Of Discontent

If you approach him with negativity and anger he will only resist. Recognize that you are stressed, angry, and coming at him with that energy will only make things worse. To calm down, take a step back and search for happiness outside of your environment. Look inside.