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The Biggest Reason Guys Don’t Text Back

I’m going to get this out of the way straight off the bat – there are a million reasons a guy might not text back.

However, only one of those reasons is a PROBLEM in a relationship.

Most everyone can agree that if a guy doesn’t text back because he’s busy, or working, or watching a movie, or his phone is dead, or he doesn’t see the text – then it’s not a big deal.

Those are all legitimate reasons not to text back – and they’re also unlikely to become habits.

However, when it comes to a guy habitually not texting back - even when he’s not busy and sees the text, or if he suddenly stops texting back - it’s usually because of one reason:

If he’s habitually not texting you back, it’s probably because texting with you feels like a chore to him.

It’s because texting with you might have once felt fun, enjoyable, and energizing, but now it feels like a burden. Like something that he has an obligation to do – rather than something he’s excited to do.

So that begs the question – how does texting go from something fun to something that feels like a chore? Why do guys start feeling like it’s a burden to text?

The answer to that is simple – guys start to feel turned off about texting with a woman when they sense she’s acting needy.

Now, a lot of people have a problem with the word “needy”, so let me explain exactly what I mean.

Neediness means that a person NEEDS another person to respond in a certain way, or else they won’t feel OK.

It’s not a specific behavior, it’s a perspective. It’s a way of looking at things.

For instance, if a guy buys a woman a present, and he NEEDS her to react with a ton of excitement and enthusiasm about it or else he won’t feel OK – that’s him being needy.

And if a woman NEEDS a guy to text her back or else she won’t feel OK – that’s neediness.

So if you text a guy, and in the back of your head you know that you’ll feel worried, or sad, or frustrated, or upset, or nervous, or panicked if he doesn’t text you back – that’s neediness.

And neediness is something that guys are very sensitive to – and something that turns guys off very quickly.

When a guy gets a text from a woman and senses that she won’t feel OK unless he texts her back – it instantly turns him off. It makes him feel burdened (because now he’s responsible for her emotional state), and that burden makes it a chore for him to text back, rather than a positive.

It’s the same feeling you’d get if you got a text from a friend of yours that ALWAYS complained. Have you ever had a friend that was negative all the time… that complained about everything and always seemed like they were one setback away from falling apart?

A friend that you had to pick and choose your words carefully around or else they would get upset? Someone you felt like you were walking on eggshells around?

When a friend like that texts you – it feels like a burden to respond. You know that you HAVE to respond or else they’re going to get upset – and that feeling of obligation is what makes it not fun for you to text back.

That’s the reason why guys don’t text back: because in the moment it feels like a burden rather than a fun activity.

So now the question becomes: how can you text with him in a way that feels positive, rather than a chore?

And the answer to that is simple – it’s all about your vibe.

Here’s what I mean by that: your vibe is something that grows directly out of your mood… and your mood is how you truly, genuinely feel in the privacy of your own mind.

When you’re anxious, or worried, or frustrated – those negative feelings poison your vibe, and turn it negative. Then, whenever you interact with someone (through texts or otherwise), that negative vibe seeps into the interaction.

It’s the reason why you can be spending time with someone and ‘sense’ that they’re upset – even if they’re trying to act cheerful or normal. You can’t fake your mood, just like you can’t fake your vibe – it comes out of how you genuinely feel.

So when you’re texting with him, if you’re worried he’s not going to text back, or frustrated with him, or upset about something – that vibe is going to leak into your text – and he’s going to be able to sense it.

And if your text gives off a negative vibe – it’s going to feel like a chore for him to text you back.

On the other hand, if you’re in a genuinely good mood when you text him – meaning that you feel good, relaxed, and comfortable in the privacy of your own mind – that positive vibe will shine through in your text to him, and he’ll be able to sense it.

Instead of feeling dragged down and drained by a negative vibe, he’ll feel charged by the positive vibe – and he’ll want to engage with it.

It’s the same reason why spending time with a positive happy friend feels so much better than spending time with a negative friend – people want to be around positive people.

So the secret to getting him to consistently text back is to focus on your mood, make sure that your mood is as happy, positive, and comfortable as possible, and focus on genuinely letting go of the expectation that he texts back.

If you can let go of that expectation, he won’t feel obligated to text you back – which will actually make him much more inclined and happy to text you back!

So focus on being in the best possible mood and on feeling totally OK whether or not he texts you back – and he will gladly text you back much more often. is the only site out there that specializes in mind-reading quizzes, content and advice tailored to your particular needs. It’s like having your own personal mentor guiding you through life’s challenges every step of the way!

It was founded by dating and relationship expert, Nick Bastion, who is the main contributor to the Love & Relationship Advice section of the site.

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