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The Biggest Reason Guys Don’t Text Back


I’m going to get this out of the way straight off the bat – there are a million reasons a guy might not text back.

However, only one of those reasons is a PROBLEM in a relationship.

Most everyone can agree that if a guy doesn’t text back because he’s busy, or working, or watching a movie, or his phone is dead, or he doesn’t see the text – then it’s not a big deal.

Those are all legitimate reasons not to text back – and they’re also unlikely to become habits.

However, when it comes to a guy habitually not texting back - even when he’s not busy and sees the text, or if he suddenly stops texting back - it’s usually because of one reason:

If he’s habitually not texting you back, it’s probably because texting with you feels like a chore to him.

It’s because texting with you might have once felt fun, enjoyable, and energizing, but now it feels like a burden. Like something that he has an obligation to do – rather than something he’s excited to do.

So that begs the question – how does texting go from something fun to something that feels like a chore? Why do guys start feeling like it’s a burden to text?

The answer to that is simple – guys start to feel turned off about texting with a woman when they sense she’s acting needy.

Now, a lot of people have a problem with the word “needy”, so let me explain exactly what I mean.

Neediness means that a person NEEDS another person to respond in a certain way, or else they won’t feel OK.

It’s not a specific behavior, it’s a perspective. It’s a way of looking at things.

For instance, if a guy buys a woman a present, and he NEEDS her to react with a ton of excitement and enthusiasm about it or else he won’t feel OK – that’s him being needy.

And if a woman NEEDS a guy to text her back or else she won’t feel OK – that’s neediness.

So if you text a guy, and in the back of your head you know that you’ll feel worried, or sad, or frustrated, or upset, or nervous, or panicked if he doesn’t text you back – that’s neediness.

And neediness is something that guys are very sensitive to – and something that turns guys off very quickly.

When a guy gets a text from a woman and senses that she won’t feel OK unless he texts her back – it instantly turns him off. It makes him feel burdened (because now he’s responsible for her emotional state), and that burden makes it a chore for him to text back, rather than a positive.

It’s the same feeling you’d get if you got a text from a friend of yours that ALWAYS complained. Have you ever had a friend that was negative all the time… that complained about everything and always seemed like they were one setback away from falling apart?

A friend that you had to pick and choose your words carefully around or else they would get upset? Someone you felt like you were walking on eggshells around?

When a friend like that texts you – it feels like a burden to respond. You know that you HAVE to respond or else they’re going to get upset – and that feeling of obligation is what makes it not fun for you to text back.