- Crista Caruso
Has this ever happened to you? You go on a bunch of dates with a guy and things are going great. You enjoy talking and getting to know each other and it really feels like it could be something special. All of a sudden, without warning, BAM! No texts, no phone calls, no smoke signals…nothing! Then, almost as suddenly as he disappeared, he’s back! Where did he go? Why did he disappear like that? Was it something you did?
When men execute these types of disappearing acts, they usually don’t mean to hurt anyone. Nevertheless, it can feel very hurtful to be left behind, wondering what’s wrong. There are many reasons why this happens and there are steps that you can take to help prevent it from happening again. In fact, EZ Dating Coach, Mike Goldstein, has come up with a 2-step process to help you handle these types of issues!
Step 1: find out why he left. Did he have a reasonable and legitimate reason?
Step 2: Come up with a plan to make sure that he doesn’t disappear on you again.
How do you do that? You need to ask him straight up if he’s going to do it again. Feel free to be direct and let him know how it made you feel when he left the way that he did. Next, you must hold him accountable for his actions by asking him what your plan should be if he should do it again.
There’s a big difference between something serious, like a family emergency, and something not so serious, like just wanting to hang out with friends. The former, which most likely will be an isolated incident, means that it was something extreme that required his full attention and focus. Let him know that you were worried and tell him that if anything like that should happen again, you would love it if he could let you know. That way, you wouldn’t get so anxious and you can be there to help if he needs you.
The latter is a completely different story. Hanging out with friends is very important but that doesn’t mean that he should just vanish without a trace. A quick text or phone call letting you know where he is would prevent a world of worry and also show you that you are important to him. When you care about someone, you have to be considerate and respectful of them. You and your feelings should be important to him and vanishing without any word shows a disregard for you and your feelings. You have to let him know how hurtful that is and you have to set that boundary. With that boundary in place, you can make sure that it won’t happen again.
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