How To Survive Infidelity
If you have been cheated on, you have two options, leave the person or stay with them. This decision is a massive one and is extremely difficult to make. In order to help you, I am going to place cheaters into 2 distinct buckets and explain the pros and cons of each so you can make a better decision for your relationship.
Let's talk about why men cheat.
1. Cheating Purely For Physical Pleasure - All cheating is horrible, but if your man cheated simply to get laid, that is better than if he spent time to build an emotional attachment and found another person he cared about.
Men are capable of using sex simply as a release or act of pleasure, no attachment is necessary. If there is zero attachment and he cheated just for physical stimulation, he did something stupid but there may be nothing wrong with your relationship and his emotional needs are being met within the relationship.
But, what about the man who cheats for a different reason?
2. Cheating to Fill an Emotional Need Not Satisfied in Current Relationship - This cheating is the worst. This man is not getting all his emotional needs met within his relationship and decided to look outside the relationship to meet his needs. This means something is missing within the relationship. If you and your guy want to continue both of you need to be abundantly clear what is missing and figure out a game plan to ensure the need is fixed.
Okay, we have deciphered between two types of cheaters.
Should you stay or should you go?
No one can make that decision for you. But some questions to help you figure it out are
Will you be able to trust him again? Is he willing to work to re-gain your trust? Is he never going to do this again?
Are you willing to work on the relationship? Is he willing to work on the relationship?
In the future if emotional or physical needs are not being met, when and how will this be discussed? Once discussed, how will it be solved? Is couples therapy an option?
If you can build a plan to move forward, perhaps forgiveness can eventually be offered. However, if you can't build a plan, perhaps separating is best for both parties.