Here is the situation. You have been dating a guy for about a month. You have had full extended day dates. You hang out at least twice per week which include sleeping over. Everything feels very comfortable. You are even starting to understand each other's daily routines. However, around 60 days of dating you are wondering does he want the same things you want, a committed exclusive relationship?
So, you finally ask him, "Are we in a relationship?"
He responds, "I am not really looking for a relationship right now?"
What does he mean by that? It is simple, he is telling you, He does not want a relationship with you. If you are serious about finding a man for the rest of your life you should walk away immediately. Any more time spent with this guy will be a waste of time.
Now, looking back at this, where did you go wrong? First, there is nothing wrong with you, you are a great, amazing, and a successful person. This guy is missing out. But, while still being yourself how could you have a better dating process that delivers your desired results of monogamy?
Dating for Exclusivity
1. Don't give Boyfriend Benefits to Non- Boyfriends
This is crucial. We have all heard the phrase why buy the cow when the milk is free. This is very true. If the man is getting all the benefits of relationship, including, seeing you twice plus a week, sex on the regular, access to weekend dates, building a routine together why does he need to formally lock you down? He already has you locked down without the formal title.
However, how do you NOT give him the BF benefits without playing games? Build or most cases maintain your great life while dating him. If you have plans already for Saturday, don't break your plans just because he asked you out. Make him do a little work to find out when you are free and then plan dates for the two of you. Not only does this allow you to still have your amazing plans but this gives him the excitement of planning a date and then the anticipation of going on it and hopefully making enough of an impression to get future dates.
2. No Sex until monogamy
Same concept as above, make him work for it. I further highlight when to have sex with a man in this article.
Bottom line, if a man says he doesn't want a relationship, he means it. If you see on Facebook he is in a relationship in a few months, it is most likely because she followed a better dating process and may have more of the qualities he is looking for in a partner. None of this takes away from how great you are, it just means he may have been looking for different qualities.
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