This is such an important question. We have all had that sexual experience that was less than orgasmic, potentially even awkward, not stimulating, and maybe even painful. So most of us, if we like the person will give it a few attempts to see if the first try was just nerves or a fluke. However, what do you do if the sex is consistently bad or maybe just mediocre?
Well the first thing to do is look at your short list of the 5 things you MUST HAVE in a romantic partner. If great sex is on there, then maybe you break things off with this person, or perhaps you look at your list and determine that one of the other qualities on your list is more important than sex.
I know when I am in a relationship I can usually get caught up on minor issues that are less than ideal. In this particular case, we are looking at sex that is not 100% satisfying. But, in order to be an effective dater, or really effective at making any decisions in life we must take a big step backwards and look at the problem compared to the big picture and understand the long term implications.
In this case the sex is bad.
First, is it possible it could improve? Second, how often do you currently have sex? Third, of the time you spend together, how much of it is having sex? Finally, as you get older do you suspect your sex drive may go down or even more realistic, life will get in the way and sex will simply happen less frequently?
Also, if you have met a great guy, there is probably a few things true about him.
1. He will be willing to listen to you if you want to give him direction in the bedroom.
2. He is going to make you so happy that sex may be an afterthought of how great your life together is
3. He may be willing to seek outside council for sexual guidance
In regards to sex although it is extremely important, I believe that for many of us, other qualities may supersede having a sexual superstar. Here are some stats to consider about sex from Dr. Fisch of NYP Hospital.
The average couple has sex every one to three days in their 20s and that this drops to about twice a week for those between 30 and 50.
About 45 percent of men orgasm within two minutes of starting penetrative sex, which is much too quick for the average woman
Married couples over the age of 50 tend to have sex less than once a week.
Most couples have sex at least once a day when they are first together but this declines over time.
So what do you think, is bad sex a deal breaker or are other qualities more important?
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