Should You Date Based on Chemistry or Compatibility?
The short answer is…compatibility! Even though many of us know this to be true, people find themselves searching for the excitement of good chemistry. If you are looking for a long-term relationship, chemistry will make it fun but it’s your compatibility that will make it last. What you need to do is look for the compatibility and let the chemistry grow if it isn’t there right away.
There was a scientific study done where women rated men’s attractiveness based solely upon a photograph. The women would then meet the men, talk to them, and rate them again. What happened time and time again was the score would go up or down depending on if the women liked their personalities. It was concluded that women could change their score up to 4 points depending on if they enjoyed their conversations. How can you use this fact in your everyday life? When you meet a man that you are not necessarily attracted to, don’t write him off right away. Give it some time and see if their personality will make them more attractive to you.
In the video below, EZ Dating Coach, Mike Goldstein, tells us a story about his client, Isabella. After going on a date with a man named Nick, she told Mike that she had a good time but she didn’t feel any chemistry. She thought Nick was smart and she loved talking to him but she just wasn’t attracted to him. Mike suggested that she give him another shot. After going on a bunch of dates with Nick, Isabella called Mike and told him that Nick is the sexiest man alive! She gave him a chance and boy did it pay off! The two have been together ever since and they have been happily married since 2017.
The moral of the story is that it’s ok if you don’t feel instant chemistry with a guy. If you enjoy spending time together, give the guy a shot and let the chemistry build. If the compatibility is there, that will give the relationship the solid foundation that it needs to stand the test of time. It’s ok if the chemistry isn’t there right off the bat. Give it a little time and see what happens.
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