While at work, a woman is on her male side and she is forced to suppress her emotions all day. Because all of these emotions are bottled up, when she gets home, the tiniest issue can seem huge and overwhelming. The most damaging thing that a woman can do in a relationship is take all of her stress and frustration out on her partner.
One of EZ Dating Coach, Mike's, friends experienced this issue last year. She was dealing with a lot of stress at work and she and her boyfriend were arguing a lot. It wasn't until Mike helped her take a step back that she realized why they were fighting so often. She was unloading all of the stress of her day onto her boyfriend. She was upset about a lot of things that she encountered during the day but she wasn't able to express any emotions at work. When she got home, after everything built up inside, any little thing would trigger an angry response. A few dirty dishes in the sink would cause her to completely lose it. Her boyfriend felt attacked and judged and even when she wasn't yelling at him, the tension was enough to drive a wedge between them.
There are ways that both women and men can combat these issues. I outlined steps that a woman can take to help change a man's negative behavior through positive actions in my "Instead of Complaining, How Can You Get Men To Change Their Behavior?" blog post. Essentially, when you notice a negative behavior, like being messy... detach from trying to change him, do something that makes you happy, give him the acceptance and trust that he needs, ask for his help, and show him appreciation. Following these steps will help you to calm down and relax and it will help him change the negative behavior through positive reinforcement.
Men can help by being patient, understanding, and supportive. Let your girlfriend know that you are there to listen. If you can't think of any advice to give, DON'T PANIC! You don't have to solve her problems. Just being there and listening is enough. Another way to help is to let her anger pass and don't fuel the fire by having a negative response. Getting angry or defensive will only make things escalate.
Love each other, listen to each other, and stay cool. You'll be one step closer to having this love thing all figured out!