These 2 Principles Will Keep a Man Forever (1 of them is not Love)
March 15, 2016
I remember growing up believing once I fell in love, that would be it for me. No more dating around. I found her, time to get married and spend our lives together. However, at some point to my chagrin I realized love is not enough. Keeping a significant other involves a lot more than just love.
However, in this article I am going to tell you the 2 principles that will make it almost impossible to mess up a relationship that has love.
Without further ado:
1. Accept him for who he is
2. Appreciate him for what he does
Yes, these concepts are VERY SIMPLE. But, they are amazingly hard to execute. So I am going to dive a lot deeper on how to implement.
1. Let's start with accepting him. This means actually liking all his weird idiosyncrasies. This means making him feel good about his insecurities.
For example, I quit my stable corporate america job with a stable paycheck to start this business. My income is very varied and sporadic, which makes for not the most stable of boyfriends to eventually start a family with. However, my girlfriend admires my ability to face risk and everyday she pushes me to get small wins. She makes me feel confident in my decisions and even lifts me up on days where I think I should throw in the towel.
In turn, I feel that she completely accepts me for who I am and is not trying to change me.
2. Let's move onto appreciating him.
The male ego is fragile and needs to be bolstered constantly especially by the person who is supposed to lift it up.
In order to make my point clear I want to visit my friend Ryan and Noelle's marriage and eventually divorce. Background: College educated, great jobs, mid 30's, wonderful home, dog, and white picket fence. From the outside looks like the perfect marriage.
As homeowners, things would occasionally need to be fixed or renovated. Ryan would perform the tasks, the best he could. However, Noelle came from a family of carpenters. Thus, no matter how hard Ryan tried, his work was never sufficient. Instead of receiving appreciation for his efforts, Noelle would compare it to professionals, put Ryan down, complain, and then fix it herself.
Ryan was a confident strong man but eventually without recieving apperciation and encouragement from his wife he could no longer be loving and the great husband he usually is. Once, he stopped being a great husband, you can only imagine how the relationship snowballed and eventually ended in divorce.
Obviously, I over generalized all the causes of this divorce but the point still remains that a man needs to feel appreciated.
No matter what he is doing, you have an opportunity to make him feel like a million bucks if you want him to feel that way.
Examples: Takes garbage out, grab his arms and say, "You are so strong, thank you"
Does the dishes, "You are so sexy when you do the dishes"
Calls you on the phone, "Thanks for calling, it makes me so happy to hear from you"
Not only will these words of encouragement make him feel great but if you continue your positive reinforcement you can train him to repeat good behaviors. And guess what, he is going to be happy as can be to do these chores as long as you over appreciate him for it!
Want to learn how to train your man without changing him in more detail? Read this article.
In the meantime, remember to appreciate and accept him and you will never ever lose a man you love ever again!