I was at my friends house last Saturday having a beer when I saw him and a few other guys on Tinder swiping left and right. I looked around and noticed a bunch of very attractive girls chatting with each other and making eyes at the guys across the room on Tinder. The guys had no idea because they were glued to their phones.
Hello! Get off your phone and go talk to the hot girls that are Live and IN PERSON!
Here are5 tips applicable for both sexes on obtaining your next date!
1. Leave the Headphones at Home - Men are 96% less likely to approach a woman who is on their headphones. This applies to the gym too!
2. Leave Your Phone in Your Pocket - The upgrades to the phone, in my opinion, has been the single greatest advancement of the 20th century. However, facebook, candy crush, or instagram will never compare to the feeling of butterflies you can get when you talk to a beautiful person that shares your life goals.
3. Try Not to get Drunk Every Night You are Out - "I got three numbers last night."
"Cool! From who?"
"I have no idea, I can't remember their names. Guess I can't call them" Wah Wah
4. Go out Sober or Only Have a Few Drinks - A great conversation piece is to talk about the drunk center of attention. However, no one wants to marry and raise a family with that same center of attention.
5. Do Activities you Enjoy, and Talk to Everyone - I joined a co-ed soccer team. I made new friends with everyone on my team. Every game I would chat with people on the other team. The girls that had boyfriends I would be-friend them and ask them if they would introduce me to their cute single friends. Boom - Networking at Soccer!
I remember when I first created my online dating profile. It was on okcupid and I was extremely excited for this new and large database of single women. This one girl sent me a simple message saying "hi". After a few back and forth messages I invited her out for a drinks. Her pictures looked amazing and her age said she was 29. Everything seemed reasonable that we could have a good connection.
I showed up to the date and she was at least 40, if not 60lbs heavier than her pictures showcased. Not to mention, she was 10 years older than her profile stated.
Unfortunately, this was not a love connection. (I did keep trying though)
Anyway, what is my #1 piece of advice for online daters?
It is simple!
Look at the match % and search by it.
My clients and myself can vouch, assuming your dating prospect filled out at least 100 if not 200 questions honestly and has a match % of 85% plus, the similarities will be there and the conversation should be great!
Bottom line, in NYC, or really anywhere, time is extremely valuable. Thus, go on dates with match % of 85% or higher to have a much higher chance of having a strong connection.
I hope this is helpful.
Happy Hunting Daters!
The Dating Coach
PS: If you would like to setup a free dating/relationship strategy session with me personally, please contact me at email@example.com
Most people work some iteration of a 9-5 job. During the work week it is imperative that we are not perceived as socially awkward, weird, or worse yet Creepy!
One of the ways we avoid these adjectives is through not holding sustained eye contact with anyone for too long. Reason being, if the Director of Finance caught us starring at him for 5 seconds straight, he is most likely going to feel extremely uncomfortable and if this happens multiple times, he will probably report us to HR. Needles to say the meeting with HR will not be fun.
So, basically, we spend most of our waking hours at work, purposely NOT holding eye contact with co-workers so we are viewed as "normal" and not socially akward.
However, Thursday Night rolls around and I have a hot date with a beautiful girl. Once again, I have been training 9-5 to not be creepy with sustained eye contact. (I don't work in a big corporate office anymore, but let's pretend to make my story better, THANKS!)
Every time this pretty girl looks at me, I look down and away. I do this as to not come off creepy. However, instead I am perceived as nervous and not confident. Yes, I have done this before. I blame the girl, she was too darn hott! :) But in all seriousness, I was being a wuss, didn't get a 2nd date, and will never, ever, do that again! (Just to be clear, it is 100% my fault, not hers for being hot)
What Should I Do? (This is advicve for both sexes)
Sustained Eye Contact will show confidence and build sexual tension
Speak Slowly and Confidently
Allow conversations to have pauses. If you have nothing to say, spend a few seconds looking at the TV while you come up with your next question (Much better than fluff conversation)
If you are ready to kiss, start slowing down the conversation, adding pauses and looking down at the person's lips (Maybe even start moving in and out of the person's personal space to see their reaction) If they don't back up or better yet move closer to you, he/she may WANT to kiss
Thanks for reading. If there is a specific topic you would like me to cover in my next blog post. Please send me a question or note below.