• Mike Goldstein

Happy St. Patricks Day!

If you are looking for love you may want to lay off the alcohol! Okay, in proper Jewish self-deprecating manner, proceed to read below and see how I made a fool of myself.

I threw a Hoboken St. Patrick's day party at my apartment this weekend. My apartment was stocked with enough alcohol to get all of China intoxicated. My old college roomate, Scott Palmer, invented the upside down apple pie shot, which was a mainstay at this party. This shot requires four people to man different stations to provide the conveyor belt of ingredients into the shot takers pie hole. Not to bore you with the specifics but you can only imagine how nervous people are to take this type of shot. Thus, in order to make people feel comfortable I constantly volunteered myself to prove to my guests that there is no reason to be scared. About 37 of these shots later, communication was no longer possible. I was just a tad more operational than Leonardo Dicaprio in The Wolf of Wall Street.

Anyway, today I recieved a facebook message from an amazing girl that apparently I met at my party. The woman was sweet enough to ask me if I would like to get drink sometime. I was embaressed but I couldn't even remember her! I didn't know what to say. I felt terrible. (Bad Dating Coach!)

The moral of the story is this: The drunk guy never gets the girl. No one is impressed by your amazing beer pong skills or your chugging speed. ​However, women will be impressed by your ability to ask inquisitive questions, followed by genuinely listening to them and actually being interested the answers.

On the flipside ladies, here is some advice if you want it:

Smile, be sociable, ask questions, don't get drunk, but don't be the young lady in the corner, quiet, and boring. You don't need to be three sheets to the wind to get involved. Make yoursel available to men. Stare for too long, smile too hard, and most importantly have fun!

Happy St. Patricks Day! If you are serious about finding love, get a buzz, not a living breathing coma.

Happy Hunting Singles!


  • Mike Goldstein

Coupe Starring at each other.jpg

It’s the end of the first date. You just had drinks at three different bars around NYC and now you are walking your beautiful date home to her apartment. Your heart is pounding because you are thinking about if you need to perform the always cliché kiss at the door.

How did you get to this point? Who wants to kiss someone when every movie, book, and social cue tells us it needs to happen? Call me anti conformist if you must, but I WILL NOT KISS THE GIRL AT THE DOOR!

I don't care how long she jingles her keys at the door, fumbles through her purse, or stares into my eyes and asks me silly questions just to keep me at the door. It is not happening! Missed Opportunity? I think Not! What if randomly on the walk to her apt. in the middle of her sentence about how many carrots she ate on Tuesday, I lean in, place my lips half a inch from hers, pause, and wait to see what she thinks about being this close to me. BOOM! Fireworks! And we have a first kiss. In case you were that interested, she had 15 baby carrots on Tuesday ;)

Now, how do we know if she wants to kiss?

Some signs that are sometimes true:

She stares at your lips

She puts on lip gloss (Not applicable if she does this early in the date)

She stares at your lips

Long awkward stare with no conversation at Close Range (Switch to guns, too close for missiles...I may have watched Top Gun too many times)

Walk straight at her, does she move or hold strong in her spot? No movement, BINGO!

Pucker up ladies and gentleman!

  • Mike Goldstein

Ever got back from a first date so excited thinking, "Wow, that went well! I can't wait to see him again."

However, he never calls to setup the 2nd date. Here is the list of everything you should and should not do on a first date.


  • Meet at a bar for a drink

  • Ask Open Ended Questions to get the other person chatting (Ex: Where did you grow up? Where have you traveled to? What is your favorite tv show/book?)

  • Wear Jeans with a nice shirt, dress shoes for men and heels for women

  • Pick a location that is close to both you and your date

  • If you are the man, I would suggest paying the bill

  • If you are female, I would suggest offering to help pay the bill (Hopefully the man politely declines)

  • Open the door for a lady, help her with her coat, pull the seat out for her

  • It IS okay to kiss on the first date


  • Spinning or any event which will cause a girl to sweat profusely (Good date down the road, not a first date)

  • Talk about X BF or GF

  • Longer stories - No one cares! Keep answers to 2-3 sentences. If your date is interested, he or she will ask a follow up question. If no question comes, let's move on to a different topic by asking a question

  • Wear a scandalous dress - If you dress physical, you will get physical responses. (Of course if that is what you are looking for, please dress accordingly)

  • Chat about Politics

  • Check your Phone or worst yet have an active text conversation

  • Long drawn out stories about medical issues

  • Invite him/her out on a Friday or Saturday evening

  • Talk about your job for majority of the date (It is called work and not fun for a reason) Talk about fun things!

  • Talk about your brother's obsession with smoking/harvesting marijuana (Yes this happened to me) TMI - save your skeletons in the closet for down the road. Once the person likes you, they are more likely to be accepting of minor faults or interesting family members

  • "No Sex before Monogamy"

  • Get sloppy drunk

Can't Read


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