It is no secret that getting men to open up, show emotion, or talk about their feelings is basically the equivalent of getting the Red Sea to part. It is no easy task. For whatever reason, on average men use about 7,000 words per day while women use about 20,000. So based on this data point, it is clear on average men are less expressive than women. However, there is a way to get men to talk about their feelings. I wanted to outline that process for you today because nothing is sexier than a man who confidently expresses himself and is able to open up.
1. Make A Safe Place For Him To Be Himself
No men is ever going to tell you what he is feeling until he knows you 1. are not going to judge him and 2. are going to accept him for whatever he says. You do this by telling him you are okay with all the things other women were not huge fans of.
For example, if he plays video games once a week, or watches some strange program on television the best thing you can do is encourage him to do these things. After he finishes he will remember how awesome you are, and how different you are from every other woman and hopefully reward you with date nights or at least step up and attempt to make you equally happy.
Step 2. When Both Parties are Upset/Sad - Ask him to share why he is feeling a certain way?
Men hate conflict. Men want women happy all the time. However, that is impossible. Everyone has a down day. But, when you are mad, he wants you to be happy. Tell him, "If you can explain what you are feeling/thinking that will make me feel better." You are challenging him to open up but are giving him a reward at the end of the tunnel. All he needs to do is explain his inner workings and you will start to feel better. Now, once he explains himself do number three.
Step 3. Tell Him, "I feel so much better now and feel great understanding you better"
He is thinking, wow that was easy. I talked for a little bit and all of a sudden we are not arguing. My girlfriend/wife is happy again. That was simple (Men love solving problems). Which leads us to:
Step 4. Appreciate him for being so open, vulnerable and tell him:
"You made me so happy that you are comfortable enough to share your feelings." -
Once again, keep re-enforcing his good behavior. It is vital that he fully understands that in the future if he share his emotions he will 1. be accepted for them, 2. be able to alleviate fights, and 3. be appreciated for his amazing communication skills.
There you have it ladies. You are never going to turn your husband into the communicator your best girlfriend is but with the 4 step process outlined above you can certainly positively reinforce your man into expressing his feelings in a far superior manner than what he may currently be doing.