I spent years coaching men who wanted a monogamous relationship that ended in marriage. One of the largest complaints from these men are women that play games via text or cancel dates. I thought this was quite a valid complaint. It is certainly frustrating for a men to spend quite a bit of time looking for a bar/restaurant that has the right ambiance, is the perfect distance from his date to appear he is not lazy (Placing it 2 blocks from his apt), not desperate (2 blocks from her apt), but considerate (about equal distance from both parties, perhaps a little closer to the lady).
So if you must cancel a date, what is the classy way to reschedule?
This can also be used in the business world with a few minor tweaks.
"I am sorry, I can no longer make tomorrow night at 8PM. However, I am really looking forward to our date. I could reschedule for Thursday or Tuesday of next week both at 8PM if either of those work for you?"
The key to cancelling a date and not making your guy wonder if you are still interested or not is to propose other times when you are free.
It is not acceptable to just apologize and go quiet and then just expect him to step up to the plate again. He did his job, he asked you out, he picked the time, location, and was ready to show up. Now if you are going to cancel, it is ideally your job to propose other times when you are free. Now let's say your guys responds with:
"I am free Thursday at 8PM"
The perfect response is:
"Wonderful, where would you like to meet?"
This is a great question whether rescheduling or setting up the first date. This allows women to ask for information they want (i.e. the location) but all the same time allows men to be men and plan the date by picking the location.
Easy Peasy! Now if you need to cancel, do so with the confidence that you are not sending mix messaging to the guy you are interested in.
Your Dating Coach,
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