Every woman has that story that ends in tears. Guy takes girl out for drinks, he is charming, sweet, and intellectually stimulating. One drink leads to two, three, and then four. All of a sudden you are feeling a little buzz and the guy is still looking cute. A few hours later you are in his bedroom. You go to work the next day, perhaps a little embarrassed but excited to hear from "your man". He never calls, he never texts. You start to think, am I unattractive? Was the sex bad? Am I a bad kisser? Was all that charming conversation just to get in my pants? You could ask yourself a million questions.
However, the facts are simple. He is gone and you are fabulous , but you may want to tweak your dating process so this doesn't happen again.
Moving forward what is the best process?
I would suggest waiting for monogamy before having sex. This does a few things. It allows both parties to really get to know each other. Do you get along, do you have similarities, do you have similar beliefs on important topics? Also, it gives the man the opportunity to chase you. If he continues to pursue you, he is building interest, but if he stops, well clearly he didn't feel like the work was worth the prize...YOU! The guy you spend the rest of your life with is NOT going to care if he has to wait a while to get in your pants. He will just be excited to have the opportunity to get to know you better each date.
Next, Sex can prolong relationships that don't work. If the sex is electric but the similarities, life goals, and so on are not there the relationship may remain strong based purely on sex and other positive aspects of the relationship that may or may not be important in the long run. Without sex to muddle your decision making, you can focus on building a strong foundation with your partner.
A good foundation should be based on the system taught in the article below:
I would suggest only dating men that meet the criteria in the article above. I would also propose that you keep sex in your back pocket until you are sure the man is ready to commit to you. Men are typically not going to take you on 5, 6, 7, 8 dates unless they really like you and want to learn more about you to determine if a committed relationship makes sense.
Your Dating Coach,
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